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Stephen Colbert on gay marriage and Bill O’Reilly’s fear that people will soon be able to marry turtles and ducks and dolphins.

I had an uncle, Roger. He was a great guy. My mum was always saying, “Why can’t he find a nice girl?”. Well, one Thanksgiving he shows up to dinner in a damp suit with his roommate Clicky. You know, it’s obvious to anybody but I didn’t know - I was young. Though, even as a kid I found it odd that they slept in the same saltwater tank and it just…it just breaks my heart…that they could never be open about it. My uncle eventually had blowhole reassignment surgery…and got caught in a tuna net. So O’Reilly, back off on the Dolphins. But gay marriage - yeah, that’s sick.

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